Thursday, January 21, 2010

An odd moment of parental clarity

I just told Ridley how disappointed I was in her behavior.

Background: It all started nice and sisterly. Ridley was very nicely scratching Harper's back. It turned ugly about when Ridley scratched really really hard, leaving 2 long deep scratches down Harper's back, parts of which required band-aids to appease the bleeding.

I sat Ridley down and explained to her why she needed to love her sister, not be mean, and how disappointed I was that she had forgotten that.

It's at this point that Ridley breaks down in tears, clearly feeling very badly that she had hurt her sister.

For the first time I didn't comfort her, I didn't tell her it was ok. It wasn't ok that she hurt Harper so bad.

And that's where the odd parental clarity comes in.

I realize now that the occasional guilty conscience is an extremely good thing. If people didn't have that feeling every now and then, we'd just all be jerks with no remorse and the world would be an even worse place than it already is.

I've never really had a good grasp on why we teach our kids the things we teach them. It's just what you're supposed to do, right? Help them grow up to be decent people.

Well, my kids are going to know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that there is right and there is wrong. This seemingly small situation has opened my eyes to all the other instances where I've been teaching my kids right and wrong without really even realizing it.

I'm very grateful for these little moments of clarity. They make me remember why I love being responsible for small lives, not scared of it. They make me remember that I'm a good mom, that Andrew's a good dad. That we've taught our children right.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Emily. Those word are amazing. I love the fact that you said that. I'm glad that I have you for an older sister and that Ridley and Harper have you as a mother. :D

Wright Family Fun!! said...

Emily I love this post! I wish more mothers could be like you! Teaching your children at such a young age will make them much better people when they are older! You are a good mother and your girls are blessed to have you be their mom! I hope you have a Happy Mothers day this Sunday!

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